The State of the State

Let me tell you what is wrong with the state of the state. Okay, let rephrase that: Let me me tell you one thing that is wrong with the state of this state. Because if California were a rainbow...it would be all shades wrong!



I work for the State of California. Specifically for a department which is big on customer service. In our worker handbook customer service is defined by tactfully synchronizing our eye rolls and sighs the exact moment the customers' problems start creeping into our break or lunch times. Our department offers 3 types of trainings where we are taught the ninja-type skills of deflecting real issues and tossing 1-800 number cards like weapons when stumped. But the most basic qualification an employee most possess (even before proper grammar, of course!) is the art of the elusive bitch, please face, which must be flashed if it is even SUSPECTED that we are being lied to.

After offering all this "customer service" we expect what we are are due dammit! We are not only offered on-the-job training for each service we are required to perform, but we are sent to additional trainings. Get this...IF you start losing money like a drunken monkey at the zoo Christmas party you don't get fired. NO. You get a big state-paid-for tittay put in your mouth like a fucking baby and sent to a training and how to STOP LOSING MONEY!

If you start yelling at customers as if it was your 2 year old who just shit his pants again...you don't get fired. NO. You get more state tittay milk and shipped off to another training on how NOT TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE SHIT!

We have a training for everything. Unfortunately none of it ever sticks. Nope. They come back worse than unruly teenagers from Military School. They say they've change and will never do it again. The minute you turn your back and they're left alone, they drink up all the booze, get "familiar" with the neighbor boy and have you driving downtown at 3 a.m. looking for the morning after pill...but I digress.

You what this spells? Esses! Esses with those little slashes through them: $$$$$$!! Each one of these employees costs money. Trainings, salary, insurance, retirement, and lord knows what else these sly fuckers get that I know nothing about. They also manage to get repetitive motion injuries while NOT MOVING which I cannot wrap my mind around!

California has been run into the ground by our legislators no joke about that. Now we're becoming a "Lord of the Flies" state. Let the weak ones fend for themselves. They want money? Let them work for it. They want my job? Let them fight me for it?